Friday, February 10, 2006

Keys To The Kingdom -Part 2


The second key to your kingdom will be communication. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 read, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in all circumstances."

Another aspect of communication that Jesus speaks of is listening as found in John 10:27, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow Me."

Norman Wright has written an entire book about this topic, called Communication: Key To Your Marriage. In this book, he describes comunication as a process (verbal and non-verbal) of sharing information with someone else in a way that he/she understands what you are saying. In this respect, talking, listening and understanding are all involved. This is what he writes,


Comunication specialists point out that when you talk with another person there are actually six messages that can come through.

1. What you mean to say.
2. What you actually say.
3. What the other person hears.
4. What the other person thinks he hears.
5. What the other person says about what you said.
6. What you think the other person said about what you said.

Discouraged? Rather. But it does illustrate why communication is often hard work. Someone has suggested that listening intently with one’s mouth shut is a basic communication skill needed in marriages. It has been estimated that usually a person hears only about 20 percent of what is said. What is involved in effective listening?

Listening effectively means that when someone is talking you are not thinking about what you are going to say when the other person stops. Instead, you are totally tuned in to what the other person is saying. Listening is more than politely waiting for your turn to speak. It is more than hearing words.

Real listening is receiving and accepting the message as it is sent – seeking to understand what the other person really means. While listening is generally regarded as a passive part of communication, this is not true. Sensititive listening is reaching out to the other person, actively caring about what he says and what he wants to say. When both husband and wife recognize the importance of listening objectively, and giving each other full attention, they are taking big steps toward building strong lines of communication.

4 comments:

Homemanager said...

This is an important area...my husband and I have been working more on this. We have realized that there is more intimacy to be had as we truly accept that other person fully, their strengths, their weaknesses, their different background and usually different perspective. I guess the key piece is humility...

Homemanager said...

Marlene,
Go to my sight to the sidebar and click on the devotional for Elizabeth Elliot.
Go to friday's devotional entitled,"A Man Moves Toward Marriage." You will enjoy the read.

Marlene S. said...

Ah yes! The power of a single word (or as Solomon writes, "a word aptly spoken"). I definitely long to be that succinct a person. Thanks for the read.

sharon said...

I like this about commuication - we talk about this a lot in social work. Since I've learned so much about communication I try and concentrate on it, and it's interesting to notice how easily people can misunderstand each other.